This morning I started packing some of my stuff up to go home next week. While packing, the reality of what I was doing set in. I'm finishing up my second year of college, and my second college, with my second major. I've known for quite some time that I'm a horrible decision maker, but it wasnt until the last few weeks that I realized that I might have made the right decision for once. When I move home next thursday, I'm staying home. No more universities for me for a few years. I'll be going to a community college for an associates degree. From my freshman year of high school, I told myself that I would never go to a community college, that I was above that.....well, look at me now. I'm actually more excited to start school there next fall that I have been the last 2 years.
I think its because I've finally listened to God's direction instead of taking it as a subtle suggestion. When I decided to go to Hannibal-LaGrange it was a lot of my own doing. I thought that because it was a Christian school that it was the correct choice. Within 2 months of being there, I realized that wasnt true. So, I went through the transfer process. I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and I wasnt going to ask anybodies advice. So when I found a degree that fit what I wanted to do, I immediately transferred to that school, thinking it was a "sign". Wrong again. In the middle of the year here at Eastern Illinois, I went to passion....I already had an inkling that my calling was finally coming, but at Passion the calling hit me right in the face and changed everything. So here I was, stuck at a college that wasnt right, with a degree that was so far from correct for me that I didnt know what to do. Now I've got it figured out, and for the first time in 2 years, I actually feel a deep peace about my decision.
So....I've gotten tired of using xanga and myspace to tell people about my life....so I moved here.
I've come to realize that I need a place to talk about what I'm doing and what is going on with me where I can get feedback from people. So, I started this blog. I have a feeling now that I'm going to get questions later on about the url of this site....so I'll go ahead and explain. A few years back, I made an email address using the word conflagration. At the time, I only used it because i think it is a great word and does a much better job of describing a fire that "fire" does. When it came time for me to give a name to my blog....I looked back on that time. I realized that starting a huge fire is what I want to do. No, I'm not an arsonist or pyromaniac. I dont want to start a literal fire, but instead, a figurative one. For the last few years it has been my goal to be a candle, a shining light to tell about Jesus to the people I run into in my daily life. Well....I just dont think the light of a candle is going to cut it anymore. But the light of a raging fire should do the trick. So that pretty much explains it. I want to 'start a conflagration' in myself and those around me. And I'm going to use this blog to keep an account of my journey as a student on fire for God.