Start a Conflagration

I've been listening to this David Crowder Band song a lot over the last 2 weeks.  It expresses my thoughts pretty well right now.

What a week it has been.  

So, its been a terribly long time...

Last Thursday night, my best friend and I went to St. Louis Bread Co. to have a bible study/accountability time. Let me just say that the experience we had just blew my mind. We started out both reading Matthew chapter 21. The part of the chapter that stuck out to both of us were verses 18-22:

• 18 In the morning, as he was returning to the city, he became hungry. 19 And seeing a fig tree by the wayside, he went to it and found nothing on it but only leaves. And he said to it, "May no fruit ever come from you again!" And the fig tree withered at once.
  20When the disciples saw it, they marveled, saying, "How did the fig tree wither at once?" 21And Jesus answered them, "Truly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, 'Be taken up and thrown into the sea,' it will happen. 22And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."

I am so much like that fig tree. In the same way that it did everything it needed to do to look like a fig tree, I do everything I need to do to look like a good Christian. But I haven't been bearing much fruit.

We asked ourselves why we don't do everything we can to share our faith. If we have faith we can move mountains, and we will receive everything we ask. We've been given everything we need to reach a dying world, and we rarely take advantage of it. I hide behind serving at church, saying "I'm serving in a ministry, that's enough." But my service rarely leaves the church building. I use the fact that I don't know my bible well as a reason I cant reach out to people. I'm not good at quoting scripture, and even when I know a verse, I usually cant tell you where it is. Well, neither of those things are good enough reasons to not share.

So, we decided that we were going to make more of an effort to share our faith with those around us. And at about that time, a man walks up to our table and asks if we're reading the bible. He then quotes a scripture to us and asks if we have any quotes from the bible. Tori tells him her favorite verse. Then he proceeds to tell us he is an atheist. He told us why he doesn't believe, and went on his way. Wow. If that wasn't God telling us something, I don't know what else it could be. We then decided that we needed to gain a better knowledge of the Bible. We decided to read 4 chapters a day until we're finished. And to hold each other accountable to doing so. We talk on the phone everyday about trivial things, so why not cut some of that out and talk about things that really matter? Its been amazing so far. We're only through the first 16 chapters of Genesis, which we've read over and over in the past, but I've already learned so much. God is already showing me so many things and growing me into a stronger Christian. I cant wait to see where we go, and what we learn as we go through the Bible, but I know its going to be phenomenal.

So, for the last few weeks I've been in a really down mood. When I get like that I have the tendency to stop looking to God for help. It seems backwards from how that should work. So, for about 3 weeks I've been neglecting my quiet time. Not just forgetting to do it, but choosing not to. I was in the most horrible mood on Sunday and couldn't figure out why. Then it dawned on me that until I turn my problems over to God and remember that I'm not in control of everything, I'm going to be negative about everything. The last few days have been awesome. My quiet times have been so fulfilling, yet still leaving me wanting more of who God is. It feels awesome to be hungry for God's word again. I've been telling myself that I need to look for God in the little things, because those are so often the things I over look. Last night as I was driving back from school I got to watch the sunset. I love sunsets, always have. They always make me smile. As I was driving I was listening to Brandon Heath. I'm thinking to myself that this sunset is so gorgeous....and the song Beauty Divine comes on. Here are the lyrics:

Does it ever catch your eye
Beauty divine
In an old man's tears
A little girl's smile
If it feels like a song
One that belongs to you
Stop making sense
Your weakest defense
Just quiet your mind
Let the world unwind
See we're not alone
He makes Himself known in time,
His own time

So Breath
Life will surprise you
Just Be
It's what the world denies you
You see
The truth is all around you
Believe
We're not alone
He makes Himself known in time,
His own time
Does it ever catch your eye


God is awesome....and it amazes me that He used something as simple as a sunset and a song to bring my focus back to Him.

so, the first week of school=fantastic. my classes are amazing. i love it. that is all.





wait....did i just say i love school? yes. i did.

there will be more later.